Everything I would tell you if you rang me about your speech
Running orders, length, opening lines, and the jokes that go wrong. UK weddings, UK running order, no filler.
What order do wedding speeches go in
The traditional UK order is father of the bride, groom, best man. Why it runs that way, where the bride and maid of honour fit, and how to handle two best men.
2 August 2026 · 7 min read
How long should a best man speech be
Five minutes, around 650 words. The word count to minutes table, why laughter eats your running time, and what happens to a wedding room at minute eight.
2 August 2026 · 8 min read
A best man speech, beat by beat
The seven beats of a best man speech in order, with a word budget for each that adds to about 650, plus how to run the turn and split it between two best men.
2 August 2026 · 8 min read
How to start a father of the bride speech
Open with your name, her name, a thank you and one small joke. Six father of the bride openers that hold up, three to leave out, and a test for your own line.
2 August 2026 · 9 min read
Where the line is in a wedding speech
Two questions decide whether a best man joke lands or lands badly: who does it cost, and is the couple laughing or bracing. Danger zones and repairs.
2 August 2026 · 8 min read
A maid of honour speech when you are not the funny one
Warmth lands harder than comedy at a wedding. Four structures for a maid of honour speech that works without jokes, and how to follow a best man who got laughs.
2 August 2026 · 8 min read
Giving the father of the bride speech when you are not her dad
How to give the father of the bride speech as a stepdad, brother, uncle, grandfather or friend, including one line that handles the absence and moves on.
2 August 2026 · 8 min read
Wedding speech nerves, and the ten minutes before
Wedding speech nerves are physical, and so are the fixes. What to do with your hands, why the second drink costs you, and a countdown for the last ten minutes.
2 August 2026 · 8 min read