See what the questionnaire turns into

Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm Chris, I've been Tom's best mate since we were eleven, which means I've had twenty-two years to prepare this speech and I still wrote it on the train.

I first met Tom on our first day of secondary school, when he confidently told our form tutor that his name was on the register twice because he was "twice the student". It wasn't, and he wasn't, but that mix of total confidence and questionable judgement has defined him ever since. This is, after all, a man who once drove us four hours to a festival with the tickets on the kitchen table. A man who assembled a flat-pack wardrobe and produced a second, smaller wardrobe from the leftover pieces.

And then he met Hannah, and honestly, we noticed the difference before he did. He started turning up on time. He stopped ordering the same thing at every restaurant "in case the new thing was worse". He got... happy. Properly happy, the kind you can't fake in the group chat.

Hannah, I've known him longer than anyone in this room apart from his mum, so believe me when I say: this is the best version of Tom there has ever been, and that's your doing. [PAUSE] Look after him. He can't, and now you've seen the wardrobe story, you know that officially.

Ladies and gentlemen, please stand, raise your glasses, to Tom and Hannah.

Welcome, everyone, on behalf of both families, thank you for being here. I'm reliably informed the father of the bride goes first because after thirty years of Lucy's timekeeping, they knew I'd already been ready for an hour.

Lucy arrived three weeks early and she has been early for everything since, except, her mother reminds me, the one thing we're here for today, which took her and Sam six years of "we're just good friends". Sam, we counted. Six.

What can I tell you about my daughter? When she was seven she reorganised my entire toolshed by colour. It took me a year to find anything and I never once minded, because that's Lucy, she makes things better and she makes them hers. Watching her build a life with that same fierce care, and choosing to build it with Sam, has been the great joy of our lives. [PAUSE]

Sam, you've been part of this family since long before today made it official. You steady her, she sharpens you, and your kitchen dance-offs have been visible from our conservatory for years. We couldn't have chosen better, and we didn't have to, she did.